Independent vs Interdependent

Every week my husband and I cover a marriage small group in our home.  We have a passion for marriages.  The topic we covered was “The Laws of Possession and Purity”.  Some of the common ways we violate the law of possession in relationships are in dominance, independence, and protection. The one that spoke to me the most was “Independence”.  Basically says, “I will do my own thing”.  We are born with the words “mine” and “yours” and live in a society where the world teaches us to be independent.  Where we do not need anyone and will do things our own way.

I am a student and I love to take dissect things.  So I decided to look up the words independent and interdependence. Independent is to not be influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct.  Not subject to another’s authority. While interdependence is the quality or condition upon another, or mutually reliant on one another.  They are the complete opposite of one another.

I remember turning seventeen years old and thinking I was an adult and left my home. I wanted to do things my way and I was angry at God for what I endured.  I also had witnessed my stepfather never relying on anyone, always figured things out and never took advice from others.  When it came to asking for help it was considered a sign of weakness. So I mastered how to do be self-reliant and live what I was modeled.  This created a place of being independent on myself and I spent many years being in control of my own life.

I have moments where I have turned into a three-year-old having a tantrum with my arms crossed saying, “I am not moving from here until someone gives me some answers, on why this is happening”.  This tantrum grew more and more towards God and others. I felt God and people had let me down and I felt abandoned throughout my life.  I did things my way and shut people out of my life.  In my world, my way was best and I did not want to seek advice from others.

Today, I reflect on relationships and on God. Have you ever felt that people or God have let you down and not come through for you?  This has a tendency to create a hard heart within us, right?  I have operated in doing my own thing due to unanswered prayers or letdowns.

When have you witnessed anything in this world that is operated by itself?  In everything we do, there has to be an extension of needing something or someone in order for it to work cohesively.  Especially with relationships, one must rely on each other. Today, I am reminded of being interdependent and walking mutually with God and leaning on others to help me.  This walk of life requires a process of being interdependent on each other.

Life Application

  • Which one are you?
  • In what areas of your life are you being dependent on yourself versus being interdependent on others?

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastics 4:12, NLT).

Breathing Hope one Life at a Time!

Carrier’s of Hope



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